Stopping Cyberbullying: Tips for Teens, Parents, & Teachers

According to award-winning school psychologist and author Dr. Kenneth Shore, “Cyberbullying is a new and growing form of bullying that has emerged with the advent of technology. It involves sending offensive, humiliating, or threatening messages or images through a computer or cell phone.”

While bullying is (sadly) common among older elementary school students, middle school students, and high school students, technology provides perpetrators with the advantage of hiding behind a screen, and/or anonymity. This means that one child can threaten, harass, or otherwise bully another without facing consequences for their actions.

According to the Pew Research Center, 46% of teens report that they’ve been harassed, bullied, or otherwise threatened online. Cyberbullying can threaten both physical and digital safety and can lead to devastating consequences when left unchecked. Here, we’ll explore how students, parents, and teachers can all do their part to stop cyberbullying in the United States.

Table of Contents

• How to Spot Signs of Cyberbullying
• Learning to Deal With Cyberbullying Yourself
• Parent Tips for Helping Kids Facing Cyberbullying
• How Teachers Can Help Stop Cyberbullying
• Tips for Preventing Kids From Becoming Cyberbullies
• Learn More About Teaching Students How to Develop Healthy Relationships With Social Media and Each Other

How to Spot Signs of Cyberbullying

Many students feel nervous about reporting cyberbullying, especially if they’ve encouraged the perpetrator or otherwise participated in cyberbullying themselves. Others may be nervous about the social consequences that could come with reporting a cyberbully. This means that it’s important for educators, parents, and students themselves to keep an eye out for kids who are exhibiting the negative effects of cyberbullying.

Common signs of cyberbullying include:

• Being secretive or protective of social media accounts or digital devices
• Being upset or angry after using the internet or the phone
• Becoming withdrawn from friends and family, spending more time alone
• Making excuses to stay home from school
• Refusal to attend group gatherings (such as extracurricular activities and birthday parties)
• Sudden refusal to use technology
• Showing signs of fear or anxiety when hearing a notification on the phone or computer
• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Changes in mood

Learning to Deal With Cyberbullying Yourself

If you’re being cyberbullied, it can be hard to figure out what to do. You may worry that you’ll be judged by your peers or your own online activity will be scrutinized. No matter what has happened in the past, cyberbullying is never OK. Life will not be this way forever, and there are steps that you can take to put a stop to the bullying.

1. Block People Who Are Harassing You

If you’re being bullied online, cutting off the bully by blocking them can stop the problem at the source. If another student is targeting you, blocking them can cut off their access to you, which can help eliminate the problem. While this can be an effective method in some cases, it can be harder when cyberbullying becomes complex.

According to the Child Mind Institute, “Until recently, parents, teachers, and news accounts have focused on the relationship between a bully and their target. But experts say that there are usually more kids involved in a cyberbullying scenario, making it a much more complex organism than previously thought. In fact, one of the side effects of how public bullying has become is that potentially everyone in the bully’s circle of friends — both online and offline — may be involved.”

This means that sometimes, blocking the perpetrator may not be effective, and you may need to take further action.

2. Talk to a Parent or Trusted Adult

Talking to a trusted adult — like a parent, teacher, coach, or counselor — isn’t taking the easy way out. Left unchecked, cyberbullying can have severe consequences for both the victim and the perpetrator. When you ask for help, you’re showing your bully that you’re willing to stand up for yourself. You may find that it’s helpful to show your trusted adult screenshots or printouts of conversations and messages to help you explain what’s happening behind your screen.

3. Report the Bully

Reporting a bully can feel scary, but doing so is often necessary to force the perpetrator to change their behavior. If you’re being bullied in an app, click on the safety settings. It’s likely that they’ll offer a way to report cyberbullying or will provide you with information on how to change your settings to lower the likelihood that the perpetrator can contact you. If bullying continues, you may need to talk with school administrators and/or law enforcement (especially if the bullying contains threats to your physical safety).

Parent Tips for Helping Kids Facing Cyberbullying

As a parent, it can be tough to get the real story on what’s happening on social media, in text conversations, and on gaming platforms. According to recent research, just 10% of students who experience cyberbullying report the issue to a parent or teacher. Keeping an open dialogue with your child can help them feel comfortable coming to you in the event that a bullying issue arises. It’s one of the key strategies in learning how to stop cyberbullying.

1. Don’t Be Afraid to Talk to Your Children Directly

Talking to kids directly about their interactions on TikTok, Instagram, Reddit, and other social media and communication platforms can help them understand that they can come to you if there’s a problem. According to Dr. Meline Kevorkian, board member of the International Bullying Prevention Association, it’s also important to ask questions about their virtual activities just as you would their other activities. “Monitor their virtual friendships with questions you would ask about their friends in the physical world,” she recommends.

2. Be an Attentive Listener

Giving your child your undivided attention shows that you care, you’re listening, and you’re on their team. Active listening is a skill, however, and it can take some time to get it right. When your child knows that you listen when they come to you, they’re more likely to feel comfortable speaking up when they experience a problem.

Try these tips to show your child that you’re actively listening to what they have to say:

• Get physically close to your child and look at them while they’re speaking.
• Use open body language — such as sitting with your arms uncrossed and your body angled toward your child — while they’re speaking.
• Ask questions where necessary to understand your child’s story.
  Turn off distractions, such as cell phone notifications, and the TV.
  Don’t interrupt your child.
• When your child finishes talking, summarize what they said, then ask them if there was anything you missed or got wrong.

How Teachers Can Help Stop Cyberbullying

Teachers are often the first line of defense against cyberbullying. From whispers in the hall to a devastated look on the face of a student who just not-so-secretly looked at her phone under her desk, educators have a front-row seat to the ups and downs of school social interactions.

Sometimes, it can take a little creative effort to learn more about what’s going on behind the screens of students.

Diane Kingston, a 6th-grade teacher in Omaha, NE, developed a strategy that helps students report bullying. Each week, Mrs. Kingston provides all students with a quarter sheet of paper. They write anything they’d like to share with her privately. She asks students who have nothing to say to write the Pledge of Allegiance, creating an environment where every student is writing quietly. Students fold their papers when they’re finished. After students have left for the day, Mrs. Kingston reads each paper, allowing her to keep her finger on the pulse of her classroom while providing students with a simple, private, no-pressure way to communicate bullying and other issues.

Let’s take a look at some other strategies educators can use to prevent cyberbullying.

1 .Look Out for Signs That a Student Is Being Bullied

Keeping an eye out for signs of bullying helps educators address incidents quickly before the situation reaches a tipping point.

According to the District of Columbia Public Schools, common signs of cyberbullying observed by educators include:

• Changes in friend groups
• Decline in academic performance
• Decline in-class participation
• Difficulty trusting others
• Increasingly negative social interactions
• Making frequent excuses to leave class, such as going to the nurse

2. Conduct Anonymous Surveys

Often, students who are being bullied are afraid to come forward. This can especially be true for students who are bystanders to cyberbullying. When a student is aware that cyberbullying is happening, they may be hesitant to speak up due to fear of being ostracized from their friend group, getting a friend in trouble, or being seen as a snitch or a tattletale.

Conducting regular anonymous surveys can alert educators to potential cyberbullying issues that require further investigation. Teachers can also keep an eye out for trends using anonymous surveys that can help shape future lessons and conversations around appropriate online behavior.

Educate Your Students About the Effects of Cyberbullying

Teaching students about staying safe on social media can help reduce the incidences of cyberbullying in a classroom or school. Hiding behind a screen can make it easy for perpetrators to forget that their actions may eventually catch up to them, potentially affecting their chances for future academic and career success.

Helping students become aware of the potential ramifications of cyberbullying can help put a stop to the behavior, according to Dr. Nicole Beurkens, a Michigan-based child psychologist. “Have a clear conversation about the consequences for cyberbullying,” she recommends. “Many teens are shocked to learn that their actions can cause them to wind up in court, or worse. While this should not be used to scare them, it is critical to educate them on the very real consequences of their online choices.”

Sometimes, education can help students realize that they have cyberbullied another student. In the event that a student comes forward to discuss what they’ve done wrong, it’s important to listen without judgment. Help the student develop a plan for moving forward, including a (supervised, if necessary) apology to the affected victim(s).

Tips for Preventing Kids From Becoming Cyberbullies

Any child can become a cyberbully. Easy access to the internet, the false sense of security caused by the anonymity of texting and social media, and the need for attention and/or validation can all push a student to become a cyberbully.

Certain factors may make a child more likely to become a cyberbully, including:

• Struggles at home, including a lack of supervision or a desire for additional attention from parents
• Low self-esteem or struggles to fit in with peers
• Being a past victim of bullying
• Poor social skills, including struggles to form connections at school

Thankfully, there are many steps that educators and parents can take to deter students from becoming cyberbullies. Proactive measures are key when it comes to learning how to stop cyberbullying.

Some steps that parents and teachers can take to prevent students from becoming cyberbullies include:

• Encourage students to develop healthy relationships. Talk with students about what it means to be a good friend, and what they should do if they feel that a friend or former friend is not treating them with care and respect.
• Support students in finding extracurriculars that are a good fit for their interests and skills.
• Provide opportunities for therapy, if necessary.
• Give students your full attention when they come to you to discuss a problem, and practice active listening skills to show that you’re engaged in the conversation.
• Take a teamwork approach to problem-solving. Rather than simply telling a student that you’ll take care of an issue, talk with them about what they feel would be the most effective way to move forward.

Learn More About Teaching Students How to Develop Healthy Relationships With Social Media and Each Other

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